Colliers Wood United

Colliers Wood United FC is a non-league side based in the London Borough of Merton in the south west of the city. Their history goes back a long way, having been formed in 1874, originally being called Vandyke FC.

For many years, they played in local league football before progressing to the Surrey Intermediate League. They moved to the Surrey County Premier League, but the lack of facilities at the local recreation ground, where they played home games, prevented them from moving into a higher league.

In 1991, facilities were found at Wibbandune Sports Ground on the Kingston By Pass, and the club gradually upgraded them further. The club changed its title to Vandyke Colliers United in 1997, before becoming league champions in 1997-98.

A change of name to Colliers Wood United came in 1999, finishing as league runners-up twelve months later. The same position was achieved in 2000-01 after the league had changed its name to the Surrey County Senior League.

Another second place followed in 2002-03 before 'The Wood' became a founder member of Division One of the Combined Counties League. In their first season, they finished as runners-up and were promoted to the Premier Division.

United arranged to play a sizeable amount of home games elsewhere during the 2011-12 season as a grant was sourced to relay the Wibbandune pitch and install a new drainage system. Unfortunately, the pitch hit major problems the following December, with the team having to play at Cobham once again.

The problems were solved as the Wood continued at Wibbandune, with the team being marshalled by Tony Hurrell. Generally, the side put together a string of finishes around the bottom third of the Premier Division table, with the exception being eighth place in 2015-16.

Adam Willis was appointed manager for the 2019-20 season, which was ended early by the outbreak of COVID-19, with the Wood sitting in eleventh position. After league restructuring, the club was placed in Premier Division South.

Terry Savage became manager in October 2023. Wood were relegated at the end of the 2023-24 season to Division One of the competition, with Gavin Bolger being appointed as the new team boss.

Colliers Wood United FC will compete in the Combined Counties League Division One in the 2026-27 season.

My visits

Friday 3rd November 2006

Wibbandune was the final call of a long day’s groundhop around Surrey and South West London. I was really in the mood, as the following day I was going on the train to Droylsden v Scarborough. 

This was my final ground visit of the day before I was meeting my mate Jeff in The Star at St Johns Wood to refuel. I had previously called at the disappointing Raynes Park Vale FC and returned to the railway station to take the 275 bus along the Kingston by-pass.

From the top deck of the bus, I could see the ground on my right in an area dominated by some housing, open land, and golf courses. I crossed the road by the passenger bridge and climbed over the small gate, which you'd normally associate with guarding a farmer’s field.

The ground was neat and tidy. The gate was in the corner, and down the near touchline was a car park and then the changing rooms, clubhouse, and a small cover at the front for standing spectators. 

A small seated stand was on the opposite touchline, with the rest of the ground composed of flat open grass standing with a path around the pitch. There was a second pitch behind the seated stand, with the whole arena being surrounded by trees. It was a pleasant if remote setting.

I took the bus towards Putney Bridge, which gave me a tour of several housing estates and let me enjoy the antics of the kids leaving school, which severely enhanced my thirst. I reached the pub for an enjoyable couple of hours. 

However, those in my company gave me the thousand-yard stare when I wanted to show them photos of the likes of Colliers Wood, Corinthian Casuals, and Dorking. Education required. They didn't know what they were missing.

I was scheduled to make a visit to Wibbandune for a Surrey Senior Cup clash with AFC Wimbledon in the winter of 2011 when it fitted in well with my shifts at work. Unfortunately, the game was postponed more than once owing to the pitch being waterlogged.

Colliers Wood United 0 Camberley Town 1 (Wednesday 28th January 2015) Combined Counties League Premier Division (att: 65)

With the day off work, I went to the gym and had a relaxing afternoon before heading to Putney Bridge by tube, before taking the 265 bus. The timetable for that service was akin to the works of Hans Christian Anderson, as the bus trudged its way through some lovely places, as well as the Alton Estate in Roehampton, where the first ever edition of Minder was filmed.

Eventually, the bus passed the gate at Wibbanbune as teams looked to be getting ready for the 7.30pm kick off. I jogged back and went inside, nearly paying my admission to someone who turned out to be an RAC repairman! He had plenty of choice as the car park was packed.

I paid my £5 at the entrance to the small cover in front of the clubhouse and purchased the well-set-out programme from behind the bar for a further £1.50. At the same time, I bought a tea for a quid. This was served in a proper mug. You just don’t get that at bigger games.

Wibbanbune was just as I remembered from my previous visit. The pitch was sticky but had been rolled in the afternoon. It was a bitterly cold evening with a crosswind. I’d prepared by wearing a thermal layer.

I decided to take a seat at the far side while listening to the League Cup semi-final between Sheffield United and Tottenham Hotspur. The seating offered a bit of relief from the wind.

The game was of a decent standard and went from end to end. Colliers Wood were not worried by Camberley’s position at the top of the table and gave as good as they got as they kicked down the slope.

The visiting number 9 playing in central midfield was the standout player with an educated left foot, spreading play accurately. On the half-hour mark, Wood’s defender Sam Mead headed off his own line from a clever chip from Kelsey. This had come about from about the only error all evening from the bulky veteran home custodian, Lee Pearce.

Like nearly everyone else, I headed to the warmth of the clubhouse at the interval before resuming my position on the far side for the second period.

Once more, the game ebbed and flowed and was an excellent advertisement for the league. Camberley piled on plenty of pressure, but it looked like the game would end scoreless. In the final minute, a ball into the home area was deflected by defender Boye, with former Wood striker Manny Quarshie smashing home the volley.

He became even more of a hero seconds later when he headed a Dan Hughes header off his own line while the follow-up was blocked for the visitors to take their unbeaten run to eighteen league games.

While the excitement was going on, Sheffield United so nearly booked a place at Wembley until a late Spurs goal broke their hearts.

Several fans left the game and climbed the footbridge over the A3 to get to their cars, while a couple of others waited for the bus with me. They were delighted when I told them that the bus was two minutes away, thanks to my phone app.

Turning down the chance of a beer, I headed straight home for a warming cuppa before bed after what had been another decent, cheap night out.

Colliers Wood United 2 Hanworth Villa 4 (Wednesday 9th September 2020) Combined Counties League Premier Division (Att: 90)

My mate Tony Foster was in touch, eager for more football. The Coronavirus pandemic was obviously a tragedy for many people. Meanwhile, many fans like my mate were looking for action as attendance at elite football was prohibited.

Enlarged crowds were benefiting clubs. I’d not read or heard many negative comments from those who’d dipped their toes further down the football food chain. Despite being on nights, I accepted a ride. We didn’t know just when the season might have been suspended.

Once more, the traffic was light as we made good time to south-west London, which was maybe as well. We got slightly lost near Rosslyn Park RFC, and with time to spare, Tony decided to go further down the A3 before spinning round so we were facing the right way after the game.

The 7.30pm kick-off was also handy for me getting to work afterwards. We arrived at Wibbundune ten minutes before kick-off. I’d read that improvements had been made to the venue and I wasn’t to be disappointed.

It’s amazing how a ground can be transformed with the installation of the new type of pitch fencing, which was in vogue, particularly around 3G pitches. This one tidied up the ground, with the natural playing surface in pristine condition.

The admission fee of £7 was paid at the new turnstiles, another welcome addition. Programmes had sold out owing to the decent gate, as we headed to the clubhouse to grab a cuppa for a quid. It was nice to hear a man on the mic giving out the teams.

Out on the pitch, we saw a highly impressive Hanworth Villa performance in their very fetching red and white strip. The star of the show was Sam Merson, who had dropped down the leagues to play with his pals.

Villa took the lead in two minutes as Meshach Williams saw his shot parried by keeper Lewis Gallifent, with Merson following up to score. The team went on to dominate proceedings against a hapless United side whose defenders were being given the run around.

We got chatting to some fellas who stood near us with accents I recognised. They were workers from Stockton. One was a former Villa player and mates of the management. His pals were interested in what tier the game was to compare with Northern League football that they were familiar with.

Seven minutes from the interval, Merson doubled the lead as he rounded off a fine move. Just how the score was only 2-0 at the break, barring one good move from Colliers Wood, which nearly led to a goal.

Any hopes of Wood getting back into the game were dispelled five minutes after the break when Merson completed his hat-trick. He really was too good for this level. However, the hosts didn’t give up and rallied to reply with a fine header from Mario Embalo past Terry Buss.

Villa went straight up the other end to restore their three-goal advantage through Williams. The northern lads alongside us seemed to be enjoying themselves while doing wonders for the tobacco industry and sales of cans from the clubhouse.

United continued to try and play good football and were rewarded with the best goal of the evening when Nathan Mampono was on the end of a fantastic move to give the score a slightly narrower look than the game panned out.

Parking over the carriageway turned out to be an excellent move. We were soon over the bridge and away after the match, with Tony depositing me at Alperton so that I could catch the tube to work at Hillingdon.

Carshalton Athletic

Carshalton Athletic FC is a non-league club based ten miles south of the centre of London in the Wandle Valley. The club was formed in 1905 as Mill Lane Mission FC, being further strengthened in 1906 when Carshalton St Andrews FC amalgamated with them.

In 1907, the club became Carshalton Athletic FC, playing in the Southern Suburban League Division 2 West at Wrythe Green Recreation Ground. The club was quickly successful and gained three promotions. 

At the outbreak of World War I, the club was suspended as its ground was given over to agricultural use. They reformed in 1919 and moved into the new home on Colston Avenue, which was called the War Memorial Sports Ground in honour of those who lost their lives during the conflict.

In 1922, the 'Robins' became founder members of the Surrey Senior League, and later, voluntary work on imperative ground improvements allowed progression into the Corinthian League by 1947. 

An enormous crowd of over 8,000 attended a local derby with Tooting & Mitcham United around this period. A couple of league titles followed before they were elected into the Athenian League in 1956.

In 1973, Athletic became members of the Isthmian League when they created a new second division. They were soon promoted to the Premier Division and remained there despite an upheaval of many different managers and club ownership issues.

My drawings of Carshalton's home, club crests, and team kits.
Click on the image for an enlarged view.

Athletic did have some decent times with a couple of FA Cup First Round appearances and some local cup triumphs, but after a period of twenty-four years, they were relegated. New owners came in the shape of Steve Friend and Barry Gartell, who, despite a threat of eviction from the ground, slowly steadied the club's finances. 

The clubhouse was vandalised in an arson attack, which didn't help matters. Former England and Tottenham defender Graham Roberts managed to take the team back to the Premier Division in 2003 but left soon after, owing to players' budget cuts. Later that year, a planned twelve million pounds rebuild at Colston Avenue was withdrawn after local residents complained.

In 2004, Athletic were given a place in the newly formed Conference South, but their spell lasted just one season, being sadly relegated in their centenary year. In 2008, a new owner, Paul Dipre, completely transformed the club. Personnel were changed, as was the youth setup. 

The team's colours were changed from maroon to red, the club got a new crest and buildings, and facilities were all upgraded. By 2009, the facilities were some of the best in the area, with the new junior section having five teams and the club having three hundred registered children who enjoyed coaching. 

The first team missed out on promotion after extra time in a playoff final against Staines Town. At the end of the 2010-11 season, Dipre banned ten loyal supporters who disagreed with the way Dipre was running the club, including changing the club colours and badge, as well as appointing himself team manager. 

Eventually, after throwing a sizeable wage bill at the first team without success, Dipre stood down as manager in October 2012, with Tommy Williams replacing him. Despite the team finishing in the relegation places at the end of the 2012-13 season, they were given a reprieve owing to a points deduction being incurred by Thurrock.

There was to be no escape twelve months later as the team was relegated 2013-14 following the sacking of Williams in October 2013, with Ian Hazel, the manager of the club's academy, taking over until the end of the season. 

A new artificial pitch was installed in the summer of 2015, as the Robins weighed in with a mid-table finish the following campaign in Division One South under new boss Matt Howard, and then Chris McGinn from January 2016. McGinn stepped down as head coach in April 2016.

Peter Adeniyi arrived at Colston Avenue as the new team boss and led the side to a sixth-place finish in the 2016-17 season before leading the Robins to the title in 2017-18. The progression continued as Athletic reached the Premier Division playoffs in 2018-19, where they went down at home to Merstham in the semi-final.

Adeniyi's team were poised in third place in 2019-20 when the season was abandoned owing to the Coronavirus outbreak before getting off to a flyer when the 2020-21 campaign got underway. In May 2022, Steve McKimm was appointed as manager, while Adeniyi became Director of Football before managing Merstham.

A succession of mid-table finishes followed the resumption of 'normal' activities. McKimm was replaced by Adeniyi, returning to his former post, in May 2023. Steve Bates was appointed as team manager in February 2026, as the side narrowly avoided relegation.

Carshalton Athletic FC will play in the Isthmian League Premier Division in the 2026-27 season.

My visits

April 1984

I was a young student based in Boreham Wood and decided my course was nearing its end. I decided one weekday to educate myself in something that would give me far more satisfaction than some strange mathematical formula.

I travelled south of the river and used a one-day travelcard to its fullest extent. I'd been to several grounds when I arrived at Colston Avenue. The first thing that caught my eye was the majestic covered terrace that filled the whole of the far side. It was very large for the standard of football and had big white-walled exits. 

It looked very professional. The near end was just open flat standing, and the far end was an open grass bank. The near touchline consisted of a lot of open flat standing with a very small Main Stand near the halfway line with various portacabins and outbuildings.

It seemed to be a ground with huge potential. I went on my way and took a train to their neighbours and big rivals, Sutton United.

Thursday 16th November 2006

I had ventured to Surrey once again on a day when I revisited many grounds to take some photos. This time I arrived from Sutton and soon found the ground. It was open, and I snapped away when a gentleman came out of a wooden hut. He asked what I was doing, so I explained. He seemed delighted and invited me inside. 

He and other gentlemen of his age who were involved with the club sat me down and made me a cuppa while we had a good twenty-minute chat about Athletic, Scarborough, and non-league in general. They were great company.

The ground had changed as it was now more enclosed. Both ends had fences nearer the goal, with both having basic covers. The Main Stand was now at least double in length after a relatively seamless addition.

I thanked my new friends and set off to find the new home of Tooting & Mitcham, which was made far easier by the bus advice I was given.

Carshalton Athletic 1 Margate 3 (Tuesday 8th February 2011) Isthmian League Premier Division (att: 157)

I was scheduled to be on a late shift at work, but the call-up to an annual training course offered the opportunity of a game. As I was based in the city, a trip to Surrey looked inviting. 

I had read big things about the matchday experience at Carshalton on their website, with real ale advertised in the clubhouse and them bragging that they serve the best burgers in English football. How could I resist? I wonder how many others had fallen for the hype?

I had a good walk to charge my appetite along the Embankment for a few miles, what with the promise of something so grand to come. I did well to avert the magnificent Market Porter pub at London Bridge to head straight into the station and take a packed train south.

The walk from the station to the ground was short, and I was soon greeted on the turnstile by two smiling young ladies. I paid a tenner admission fee plus just £1 for a decent programme. Other clubs would do well to take note of that price. So far, so good.

I went into a fairly plush clubhouse, which had nice leather chairs and plasma TVs with very modern pictures of the team and the club. They were definitely very image-based. The clubhouse had three dartboards and held events. It was also open from around 5pm each evening and from 10am on a weekend. It did meals and was really trying to push its Sunday lunch along with live football offers.

I had a pint of Sambrook's excellent Wandle Ale and sat to read the programme. It was nice to see a few Margate fans in there, although it was not too busy with Robins. I went outside before kick-off to take a few photos before going to the catering van to see if the burgers really would live up to their build-up.

Well, I have to say that they were OK, but nothing out of the ordinary. The chips were very good, mind. The game had kicked off at quite a pace, and soon the visitors went ahead to loud cheers from the twenty or so fans behind the far goal. 

The home fans at the other end tried to create a bit of an atmosphere without ever threatening the sound barrier. New fences surrounded the playing area with ample reminders to fans about what time the clubhouse was open and for youngsters to get involved with Saturday morning training.

Athletic equalised before Margate took the lead once more. They looked very dangerous, although Carshalton had moments of their own. I had heard the home fans saying that their match on the previous Saturday was as bad a game of football as they'd ever seen. They were getting their money's worth in the first half.

I wandered round the ground and stood on the great terrace. Some of the views weren't the best because of the large dugouts at the front, but I love anything like that side, which took me back to my youth. 

I was behind the goal with the 'Gate' fans when they were instructing the Robins keeper how to set up his wall and warning him how their taker would bend it. The kick went in the net via a large deflection. The keeper was not happy, and his mood was not enhanced by the fans saying, "We told you it would bend". The home skipper also took exception to comments about his general demeanour!

Chances continued to come in the second half, mainly to Margate, but neither side added to the tally. It was a very cold night, and I was very tired as my body clock was struggling with the changes of shift. I made a move around five minutes from the end to catch an earlier train back to Victoria.

I had enjoyed the experience. I like clubs that have positivity and make the best of what they have, although I couldn't help but think that Carshalton had gone maybe just a little too far. 

Maybe my opinion comes from the previous experience down there of a warm, small, friendly club. Whatever, I hope some of the kids on the club's books become first-team stars of the future. Community is definitely the way forward!

Carshalton Athletic 0 Dulwich Hamlet 4 (Tuesday 25th February 2014) Isthmian League Premier Division (att: 277)

The terrible wet weather appeared to be abating, leaving me with more choices on the completion of my night shifts. 

My decision was made when fellow ‘hopper’ Anders Johansen got in touch with his itinerary on his sojourn from Norway. He fancied a trip to Surrey, and I was in favour of another ninety minutes of seeing Dulwich in action. We agreed to meet in The Hope, a pub highly recommended. I could soon ascertain why. 

The choice of beer was excellent in a cosy atmosphere. My hoppy Bethnal Green Bitter from Brodies in London’s East End hit the spot after I’d had a fine pint of Jeffrey Hudson Bitter from the fine Oakham Ales range in the horribly refurbished Wetherspoons on Victoria station. The pub got very busy with away fans leading up to the match.

We decided to have a beer before kick-off at Colston Avenue. Usually, we were both in favour of giving more money to the home club, but these were unusual circumstances. Athletic had been taken over by a man called Paul Dipre. 

He was involved in a long-running feud with long-time fans, which had deteriorated since my earlier visit. Banned fans, along with sympathisers boycotting formed a peaceful protest outside. Ridiculously, there was also a police presence, who seemed bemused by it all.

Admission was £10, with the programme another £2. It was the original issue from New Year's Day with an updated four-page insert. While it was glossy and contained plenty of colour and pictures, there was very little reading inside.

The Hamlet fans were out in force, with the bar busy. We took our drinks outside as the kick-off was approaching. Anders introduced me to fellow blogger Lawrence from Oxford. Hamlet deservedly went ahead after twenty minutes when Erhun Oztumer unselfishly rolled the ball square past the young Carshalton keeper Michael White for Nyres Clunis to roll the ball into an empty net.

I tucked into an ever-excellent Pukka Pie for a very reasonable £2.20 as the second goal went in on the half hour after more pressure. Clunis broke through before squaring for Dean Lodge to score. 

We walked around through the terrace, which had impressed Ander,s towards the mass of visiting Dultras and Rabble. Before we got to the far end, it was three as another piece of fine football. The pace of Clunis out wide on the sticky surface set up Ian Daly in the middle to score.

Once behind the goal, Anders asked some Hamlet fans the identity of one of their legendary support. We were introduced to Mishi Morath, who had kept the faith for several decades, as well as being a regular poster of the Non League Matters AKA Kempster forum. Mishi was friendly and very passionate. It was a pleasure to meet him.

We wandered back around with the masses at the break for another drink. We agreed that the second half had the potential of turning into a real hammering. The potential became greater when Hamlet made it 4-0 when the excellent Clunis sent in a delectable cross that Brady converted with a bullet header. 

When the official attendance was announced shortly after, there were a few giggles. There certainly seemed to be more there than the official figure.

To be fair to Carshalton, they gave it a go for the rest of the game, getting forward on occasions, while tightening up at the back. Hamlet withdrew Oztumer to give him a break with the game won. 

The home side was extremely fortunate to end the game with a full complement after Matthew Males put in a terrible challenge on Clunis, a second or two after missing him with an even worse attempt. Athletic came close to a consolation goal late on, while the Hamlet fans sang their support for the banned home fans.

Rather than standing around for the train, it was agreed we would call back at The Hope for a couple of pints. The evening was completed with a nightcap in The Willow Walk at Victoria. I was home just before 1am with a chicken supper.

It had been a very enjoyable evening in good company, with the excellent range of beer being just what the doctor ordered. Funnily enough, I thought I’d need a visit to the doctor’s the next morning!

Carshalton Athletic 2 Guernsey 1 (Saturday 10th September 2017) Isthmian League Division One South (att: 235)

The weather decided my attendance for this match after the Wenlock Arms CC trip to Chappel & Wakes Colne in Essex fell foul of the weather. I’d been up bright and early and eaten breakfast in the pub. There was no way I wanted to waste a day.

I was in contact with fellow watcher and cricketer Steve Barnes, and he was keen on the lunchtime kick-off as well as a visit to a fine hostelry. We set off and managed a swift half at Wetherspoons at Victoria Station before taking the train to Surrey.

The rain was still falling as we arrived at Colston Avenue, where the welcome was warm enough. They went out of their way to save me a programme after the season ticket holders had all arrived, as they all received one as part of the deal.

We took our position on the far side, standing on the majestic covered terrace. It was good to see a sprinkling of Guernsey fans in the attendance. The ground had a new artificial pitch installed, so the heavy rain didn’t affect the surface.

The Robins started on the front foot, with Tom Bradford and Mickel Miller both going close. However, it was ‘The Green Lions’ who took the lead against the run of play mid-way through the first half, as Ross Allen scored with an absolute screamer from twenty-five yards.

Guernsey were up against it ten minutes later as Tom Miller was shown a straight red card for a high challenge. Sean O’Toole soon made the visitors pay when he scored with a fine shot into the roof of the net to level the scores.

Bradford went close before Ryan Zico-Black came close for Guernsey with an audacious long-range effort before the referee blew his whistle for half-time. Steve and I went to the clubhouse to share a bottle of ale during the interval.

It was backs against the wall stuff for Guernsey after the break. They kept out the hosts until the pressure eventually told as Ricky Korboa rolled the ball across for Miller to tuck the ball home from just inside the area.

At this point, our third man, Steve Speller, arrived. He was impressed with both the ground and the standard of football. Carshalton went close through Korboa and O’Toole but were thwarted by Chris Tardiff, while Guernsey had a sniff of a chance at the other end.

Allen had a long-range attempt for the men in green, but his effort found the arms of Alexandros Kozakis in the home net. Both sides exchanged efforts on goal, while a case of ‘handbags’ broke out just before the full-time whistle. It had been a decent game and the right result.

We headed off for what I’m sure was the main attraction for my colleagues. The Hope did not let us down, as we tried some excellent ales in a lovely atmosphere. Despite the weather, it was agreed that we should try another couple of highly rated establishments while in town.

The Greyhound was hosting a music festival with extra marquees set up in the beer garden. It was absolutely packed, but we hung around to try a couple of guest ales before wandering across the pretty area to the Windsor Castle pub.

This was the poorest of the three establishments, but it would have been more than satisfactory in most little towns. It was unanimously agreed to reconvene in The Hope, where we enjoyed a few more before heading back to Kingsbury, fully imbibed, but happy with life.

Carshalton Athletic 3 Horsham 1 (Monday 12th October 2020) Isthmian League Premier Division (att: 453)

COVID restrictions of sorts were in place, and I’d done a swap at work to get out of doing a late shift. With the prospects of no football all week starting from Tuesday, as I began my night shifts, a trip to Colston Avenue and not having to get up too early the following morning was set firmly in my plans.

Tony Foster was up for it as well as a ride down on the train and a couple of pints pre-match. This fitted the bill perfectly. I decided to have a lazy day pottering about doing odd jobs before heading to Wembley Central.

I met my pal on board the service heading to Clapham Junction from where we transferred, arriving in Carshalton not long after 6pm. I unsurprisingly suggested The Hope as our hostelry of choice.

We were asked if we’d booked. I was a little worried until I was advised to go to the website and book a table there and then. As soon as that was completed, we found a table that was reserved an hour later, so we sat down to await table service.

The Rock the Kazbek ale from the Redemption Brewery was absolutely spot on, so much so that I ended up having three pints. It seemed a shame to be heading back out into the rain, with the consolation being it was a short walk, and the ground had plentiful cover.

We had bought advanced tickets for £11 as the Robins' home game a few days earlier had been a 600 sell-out under the COVID regulations in place. The programme was available for free when downloaded online.

Once inside, Tony got in the queue for a coffee. I’d got the taste for ale. The one-way system in and out of the bar worked really well, and service was exceptionally quick. My Windsor & Eton Garter was excellent.

The clubhouse had a screen with the lineups and player stats, which I thought was a handy addition. My only slight gripe was the confusion in trying to find the loo and getting back to your beer, which entailed a long lap back outside.

It says something about what a good night it was to find that as the only moan. The gent on the PA was clear and as smooth as silk with his diction. I appreciate that some traditionalists weren’t big fans of the owner, but Mr. Dipre seemed to be getting plenty right.

We took up a place on the covered terrace along with another friend from cricket to enjoy what was an excellent game of football in which Horsham must have reflected upon afterwards and wondered how on earth they lost 3-1?

The first effort of the match came from the Hornets forward Chris Smith, who stung the palms of host custodian Patrick Ohman. The visitors’ problems, I thought, were down to the lack of ability in dealing with crosses from their keeper, Bradley House.

In the eleventh minute, he flapped at a deep Carshalton corner and missed the ball. It landed just beyond the back post, where defender Charles Harris tried to smash it clear, only to land his clearance in the midriff of teammate Steven Metcalf. The ball flew back into the top corner.

House averted further danger shortly after when he came outside the box with a flying header. Horsham should have levelled things up when a fine move saw Reece Hall feed Robert O’Toole, who teed up Smith, but he placed his shot wide.

Harris went close at the other end to his mishap with a dipping free-kick following a challenge that must have tempted referee Neil Morrison into showing a red rather than a yellow card to Robins Ernold Haxhiu.

O’Toole went close with a header before suffering an aberration to double the host’s lead. House decided the best course of action was not to go for the ball at all from another corner. It dropped at the back post where O’Toole got in a tangle and volleyed it into his own net.

In my day, I played in a Sunday League side that was well-versed in defensive cock ups and hammerings, yet they’d have struggled to perform two calamities in such a short time. I even checked the team list just to satisfy myself that any of my former teammates hadn’t moved south.

The decent away following must have wondered what was going on as their side probably had more of the play and the better chances. Smith was played in for Horsham and saw his shot get past Ohman and head towards goal. Defender Archie Proctor smashed the ball against his own post and to safety when trying to avert the danger.

Smith then brought out the best in Ohman with a slightly deflected shot before producing another good stop from a Thomas Day downward header. Back at the other end, House got away with a huge area when our opinion was that he deceived the ref.

Again, he headed outside the area, but this time his contact was poor. He grabbed his back and looked for a free kick despite the onrushing forward Kelvin Manuel making no contact with him. Omar Korom, following up, put the ball into the unguarded net, but the goal was disallowed. House was soon up and about and none the worse for wear.

If the man in black had got that call wrong, he made the right decision, waving away appeals for a Carshalton penalty after Tommy Bradford fell over rather too easily. The final action of the half saw House make a decent low stop from Koroma.

The impressive Bradford set Nyren Clunis away down the right. His low cross was converted by Koroma despite the best efforts of House to make it 3-0 in fifty-five minutes. Later, Horsham sub, Arron Hopkinson, was denied by the body of Ohman from a narrow angle.

The goalie pulled off a fantastic low save from a Harris shot that skidded on the artificial surface from outside the box with just over ten minutes remaining, before the same player saw another similar effort just miss the far post.

In stoppage time, Proctor deliberately used his arm to block an effort on goal. The resulting spot kick was smashed in by Harris off the underside of the bar. The final whistle went shortly after.

We had to get a wriggle on to reach the station in time for the 9.45 train for my mate, while I was on one four minutes later that took me all the way to West Hampstead, which was most convenient.

I’d had a cracking evening and was most impressed by the set-up at Carshalton. It was good to see crowds on the up and plenty of youngsters in attendance. The excellent highlight package was also most welcome on YouTube, especially to see the two own goals again.